This is the Way

I'm becoming more and more afraid. Something is happening and I am being tossed into the middle of it. I'm hearing The Voice and it doesn't make sense. Why me?

I spent most of the morning yesterday in my own Nineveh--hiding out from God. Not saying "no!" exactly, but stalling in hopes that the Voice would go away. I should have known better. I asked for a sign, but when I heard that I would have to do something to see the sign, I didn't. I'm not sure if I'm more afraid that this isn't real or that it is. Who am I? Why?

I keep hearing about miracles--do this and you will see a miracle--and I run away. If God wants a prophet, he should find one, not try to make one out of a housewife. And why waste miracles to prove something to me? Is my faith that small? I don't want a parlor trick, I want an explanation.

If God wants to do a miracle, why doesn't he heal Billie or put Troy's disability check into my checking account? Those are things I could appreciate. I guess that sounds pretty selfish, but I don't see God trying to prove anything to the general public. If He wants to make it personal, why doesn't He?

Why?